Tuesday, August 14, 2007

In-flight elites

First of all, I was drunk. That's the only way I fly. Don't know when it started, but it's pretty much mandatory at this point. So, perhaps this fact colors the story a bit.

Second, I hate the way that airline classify passengers. 1st class. Perks. Air-miles preferred. Elite. Admiral club. What, in the name of all that is holy, is going on with airlines?! I paid a crapload of money, and I even have a stupid miles card, but I'm just *coach*. Thus, I have to sit b*tch in row 47 for a 4 hour flight to the west coast. And some slob who paid even more money gets to sit up front, sip a free fruity-ass cocktail in their marginally roomier seat, and have somebody take their coat. I'm going to go on-record by saying there is something fundamentally flawed with this concept. As a retail manager, I pride myself on the fact that I treat all of my passengers the same (like kings) whether they spend $10 or $10k. But the airlines don't see it that way, and this breakdown is even MORE insidious for *their* industry. Let me clarify what I mean. Regular air-travel is not possible for today's working-class families. It's too expensive. Thus, for every person on the plane, they feel as if they've spent *a lot* of money, regardless of their socio-economic status. And when the vast majority of the passengers board the plane, they are made to feel like second-class citizens, while those few who can afford the 1st class are granted special courtesies. Utter garbage. They have now started to charge for EXIT FREAKING ROW SEATING!!! Excuse me?! I am now responsible for saving everyone on the plane in the event of an emergency, and I have to pay extra for the privilege? It's why I hate flying anything other than Southwest. Their model is based on when you book. If you're last-minute, then it's expensive. Book in advance, it will be cheap. No 1st class, all the seats are roomy, and the staff is a lot of fun. After all, if there is that mid-air disaster, everyone's going to be barbecued. Even 1st class.

End of that rant. On to the new one. So, I'm drunk and sitting b*tch in row 47. Some guy sits down next to me and breaks out his video iPod. After we take off, he starts listening to music and reclining. I pull out my Insignia MP3 player and do the same. After an hour, he loads up some video and starts watching Leno. I watch him glance derisively at my little Insignia MP3 player. I laugh to myself knowing what he paid for his iPod, and I load up "Masters of Science Fiction" episode #1 on my Insignia. That shut him up. So after a bit, Mr. Bourgeois pulls out his Mac Life magazine. Just as *I* was pulling out my Linux Format magazine. Grrrrr. Perhaps this is why I hate the Mac and all things Apple. There's a whiff of elitism about owning them, and it makes me grind my teeth. Bourgeois Mac-owners... Grrrrrr...
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